Consent comes with F.R.I.E.S

Consent is when a person freely and voluntarily agrees to behaviour, understanding what they are doing and who they are doing it with.

Following the recent reforms in sexual consent laws in NSW (Make No Doubt) in 2022, and QLD (Only 100% is consent) in 2024, affirmative consent is a legal requirement. Affirmative consent means actively communicating and mutually agreeing to engage in anything sexual with someone.

Before things get saucy, it’s making sure everyone is comfortable with what’s happening and freely choosing to say yes. It’s important to be honest about what you want and don’t want!

FRIES is the fun way to remember different parts of consent and for checking and asking for consent at any time during a sexual activity.

Freely Given:  Consenting is a choice you make without pressure, manipulation or under influence of drugs or alcohol. No one owes anyone sex for any reason.

Reversible: Anyone can change their mind about what they feel like doing, anytime. You are allowed to remove consent and stop at any time, even if it is your long-term partner, even if you have already agreed, even if you’ve done it before, or even if you’re in the middle of it.

Informed: You should know exactly what you’re giving consent to. For example, if someone says they’ll use a condom and then they don’t, they didn’t have your consent.

Enthusiastic: You should only do things you want to do, not things you feel you’re expected to. There’s a difference between an ‘okay’ or ‘I guess’ vs. a ‘absolutely’ or ‘I’d love to’.

Specific: You must be specific about what you’re asking consent to. For example, saying yes to kissing does not mean you are consenting to all sexual activity. Agreeing to hang out at someone’s apartment does not mean agreeing to sex.

Instead of checking boxes, consent is more of an active and ongoing conversation! If you’re unsure of how to set boundaries or how to start the conversation, check out the NSW Governments Make No Doubt campaign and QLD Governments Only 100% is consent, for examples of how to check in for consent.

Ask directly – e.g. “Is this okay?”, “Can I kiss you?”, “Do you want to try…?” or “How does that feel?”

Keep checking in – Check in to make sure they’re comfortable. If they change their mind, respect their decision and stop. 

Check body language – Pay attention to body language and non-verbal cues to make sure they’re comfortable. Just because someone isn’t saying no, doesn’t mean they’re saying yes. If you think they’re showing signs of discomfort or hesitation, stop and if they’re okay.

Any sexual behaviour without consent is sexual violence. If you or someone you know has been impacted by sexual violence, you’re not alone and know that it’s not your fault. There are a range of free and confidential support options, online, over the phone or in person.

SCU:

To make a disclosure or report:

• Lodge a Student Incident and Hazard report via Riskware, as soon as practically possible.
• Lodge a formal complaint via an online form or email(View flowchart)
• Email Student Safety 

Please do not hesitate to seek support. The SCU Counselling, Safety & Wellbeing team provides confidential advice, support and referral for both those impacted by and demonstrating concerning behaviour. The Conduct and Integrity Unit provides advice regarding your reporting options, and the process SCU takes if you wish to proceed with a formal report.   

To seek support:

• For immediate support, call SCU’s 24/7 Mental Health Support Line: 1300 782 676, text 0488 884 143.  
• Book an appointment with SCU’s Counselling, Safety & Wellbeing Service on 1800 SC HELP/ ‘1800 72 4357’ (Press 3) or email.
• For International students, call 24/7 Medibank Student Health and Support Line: 1800 887283. Translators are available to assist.   
• For Security and other Support Services, call 1800 SC HELP/ 1800 72 4357 (Press 3). 

External Services:

1800RESPECT: National sexual assault, domestic and family violence counselling service. Available 24/7.

• Phone: 1800 737 732 | Text: 0458 737 732 | Online Chat | Video Call (Mon-Fri 9-5pm AEST)
• Website: www.1800respect.org

QLD DV Connect: Provides crisis support for anyone in QLD impacted by domestic, family and sexual violence. Available 24/7.

• Phone: 1800 811 811 (Women) / 1800 600 636 (Men)
• Website: https://www.dvconnect.org/

NSW Sexual Violence Helpline: Provides support for anyone in NSW impacted by sexual assault. Available 24/7.

• Phone: 1800 424 017
• Website: fullstop.org.au

Men’s Referral Service: Call if you’re worried about your own behavior and looking for support.

• Phone: 1300 766 491
• Website: ntv.org.au

13Yarn: Crisis support hotline for Aboriginal & Torres Strait Islanders

• Phone: 13 92 76
• Website: www.13yarn.org.au

eSafety Commissioner: Report tech-based sexual violence, such as image-based abuse.

• Website: https://www.esafety.gov.au/key-topics/sexual-violence

• What is consent? Short video | view
• Planned Parenthood: Consent is as easy as FRIES |view
• The Line: Sex, dating and relationships - Practical guidance on having conversations about consent | view
• Say It Out Loud: Information and guidance relating to sexual, family and intimate partner violence for the LGBTQ+ community | view
• Office for Youth Resources: Healthy relationships and consent | view
• eSafety Commissioner: Reporting Image based abuse (sharing or threatening to share intimate images or videos without consent) | view
• How Consent is More than Just a Question and an Answer TedX Talk | view
  • Caution Warning: The video includes reference to sexual harm and assault. It is acknowledged that you may find it difficult to engage with this content. If you are affected, please seek support from 1800RESPECT and/or call SCU 24/7 Mental Health Crisis Support.