Helping someone through a crisis

If you are concerned about someone you know:

Listen

• Spend time with them
• Listen carefully
• Encourage them to talk about their feelings
• Be willing to say nothing and just be there
• Give them space and some private time
• Do your best to ensure they are safe
• Understand that they will have their own pace of coping and healing
• Don't take their anger or other feelings personally

What to say

• Tell them you are sorry that this event happened and you want to understand and help them
• Reassure them that their reactions are normal in the circumstances
• Remember that this is about their feelings, not yours
• Don't assume one gender will handle things better than the other
• Don't tell them you know how they feel
• Don't impose your explanation or judgement of the situation
• Don't tell them they are lucky it wasn't worse

Other support

• Offer moral support if they have to attend any meetings or court hearings
• If their symptoms are severe or long-lasting, you might suggest that they see a doctor or a counsellor
• Offer to help with practical tasks like cleaning, cooking, minding children or pets
• Trust your instincts if you sense they might be a harm to themself or others and make sure you connect with someone who can help
• You might need counselling yourself to help you deal with the reactions of a loved one in a crisis situation